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September 30, 2006 Morrison Park, Seneca

"Backwoods Redneck Olympics"

Professional Redneck Athletes are needed for the “Backwoods Redneck Olympics” which will be held in Morrison Park on Saturday, September 30th.  As part of the 2006 Cranberry Festival, the “Backwoods Redneck Olympics” gives new meaning to the word athlete.  All athletes must be at least sixteen years of age in order to participate. A one-time $5.00 registration fee is required for all Athletes.  There is no limit to the number of events that Athletes can participate.  All Athletes will receive a custom "Cranberry Festival Bandana"!

SEE IF YOU CAN TAKE HOME THE GOLD!!!

The Olympic events start at 3pm and are as follows (the order may change):

Redneck Tractor Pull

In our neck of the woods, the tractor is pulled by the redneck!  The Redneck will be in competition with other rednecks to see who can pull the tractor the furthest distance in the shortest time.  Do not try this one at home folks! 

Redneck Wheel Barrel Race

Each redneck will be driving a wheel barrel filled with three fifty pound sacks of potatoes.  The object is to drive the wheel barrel through the obstacle course without spilling the load.  In order to maintain the true look of a redneck, each driver will be provided with a beautiful straw hat which must be worn with a smile.

Clean the Barn

Ever heard of Road Apples?  You’ll have to shovel them into a wheel barrel (okay we will use “red apples here” along with some hay, drive them around the hay bales, saddle a horse, and race back through the bales, unload the wheel barrel, and ring the bell in order to win this event. 

Redneck Horseshoes

Real rednecks don’t use horseshoes!  They use toilet seats! Do you think you can throw a ringer?  This one is going to be a real hoot!

Cranberry Spitting Contest

Now how could an Olympics be complete without this event?  Each redneck athlete will be asked to “bob” for cranberries from a toilet bowl!  Don’t worry – the toilet will be a never used model!  The athlete will then spit the cranberries through a hoop and into a drum to be counted.  Style is everything in this event.

Log Rolling Contest

This contest is no hands on!  One way or another, but without using their hands, the redneck athletes competing in this contest need to roll their log across the field and into a small opening at the finish line.

Corn Shucking Contest

This is a timed event.  Each Redneck Athlete will be given 3 dried ears of corn.  The first athlete to shuck the kernels off of all three ears just might be a Redneck Olympic winner.

Redneck Wolf, Sheep & Cabbage Raft Race

To be held on the pond in the park.  Redneck will have to fulfill the riddle and be the fastest on the water.

Hillbilly Pumpkin Toss

This one should be self explanatory folks!  Start practicing at home.

"You might just be a Redneck..." Contest

This is a contest for the best "You just might be a redneck" quip. You will have to give us your best "one liner" to prove your worthiness. Crowd applause will determine the true "redneck".

Ribbons & Prizes will be provided to the winners for each event. 

All events are limited to 12 participants

Pre-registration is required 11am-2pm at the Festival Information Desk on Festival Day (Sept 30th) at Morrison Park.

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